This afternoon, I have been “trying” to write a blogpost, in between surfing the internet, reading the news & friends’ blogs, and checking my emails. After an hour, I got really frustrated, and started to ask God “why He was calling me to write when He was not giving me anything to write about.” He interrupted my thoughts with this: Were you, Elisa, truly seeking My heart with ALL of your heart? I looked up that verse on E-sword, Jeremiah 29:13:
“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”
Now that I am thinking about it, I have not been serious in seeking God’s heart—what He wants me to write. I have not given God this afternoon ALL my heart—my time, undivided attention or focus. No wonder that I have not been able to find what He wants me to write!
The question for me now is: do I really want to find God? How serious am I in seeking out His heart, to obey His instruction to me to write?
Honestly, I don’t know. I know that I am trying to avoid obeying God. The next verse on the search bar jumped out and struck me.
Hosea 2:7 And she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but shall not find them: then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband; for then was it better with me than now.
There is something else in my life—another love—that my heart is choosing to pursue rather than God.
Now, the question is what can I do about it?