Sometimes, it’s hard to give someone who hurts me a second chance. Especially if I have given them chances multiple times, and they still hurt me in the exact same way.
This fall, a point was reached, where I choose to stop keeping all the pain in (as if stuffing the pain would work…because it didn’t). Certain people in my life kept repeating the same mistakes/offenses over and over again, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Anger was the main emotion that characterized my life these past few months.
I’m tired of being angry. Yes, those people still repeat the same offenses, but I do have a choice–one that Yeshua offers.
Yeshua calls me to limitless forgiveness.
Matthew 18:21-22 “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”
It’s easy for me to forgive 10 acquaintances for hurting my feelings; in fact, I easily forgot them. But when a family member keeps on offending me over and over again, forgiveness seems impossible.
But I try to forgive. I put on a mask, try to forgive them, yet on the inside, I am unconsciously seething with rage.
I used to wonder why I would blow up suddenly at an innocent, annoying sibling; it would shock both them & myself. Finally, yesterday, I realized that these episodes of fierce anger are due to not dealing with small past wounds–that still hurt & are still being irritated.
I had not been running with my pain to Yeshua. Instead, I had been stuffing my pain, trying to keep it altogether, to be strong and stay in somewhat-working-order for my family.
Yeshua calls me:
“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…”
I was laden with the pain of offenses–of being rejected, dealing with the consequences of family member(s) making wrong choices.
“..Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Truly, His burden is light and easy. Today, I choose to lay down the burdens of pain that I have been carrying the past few months. He will have to do the forgiving and healing; for I don’t know how to truly let go & forgive. But I can rest in knowing that Yeshua is for me, and will take care of me.
In process of 2 Cor. 3:18,