“If you would live in victory . . . you must refuse to be dominated by the seen and the felt.” —Amy Carmichael
It just wasn’t working; I could not sew Anna’s graduation dress and this was my last full day to work on it. But for the life of me, I could not concentrate. The day sped by with taking care of Shalom, visiting some friends, going to the Food Pantry, being on my emails, but with almost no progress on my sewing. (All I wanted to do was to read or to be on my emails.)
As I sat in the garage aimlessly trying to sew, thoughts and feelings of self-hatred and inadequacy flooded my mind. Then I realized why I had not been able to get anything done today. (It was the same old story: I had not written anything for my book for the past three days, and God was trying to get my attention.)
For these last few days, I have allowed my feelings and the needs that I could see to dominate my life and dictate my decisions. I worried endless over paying for Rise Up, only to have everything change in the end. I planned two different trips to see a friend, but both fell through at the last moment. I stressed over a bridal shower, yet in the end, my mom did what stressed me in 5 minutes.
If I had just simply stuck to doing what God wanted me to do: writing, instead of getting caught back in feelings and seen problems, my weekend would have been much more profitable and relaxing.
Each time I start to be controlled by the problems around me and absorb negative emotions, remind me to trust You. Keep my mind focused on You. Teach me to give all the problems around me, especially the negative emotions that they produce to You. If I wander, getting caught up in the worries and emotions of life, bring my mind back to You. Thank You for always pursuing me. In Yeshua’s name. Amen.